You have the come to the right place. Clearly you wish to be talked out of joining the army....

Don't do it dude, seriously! Just chill out and smoke some weed with us. Come one man, I mean what's the alternative? Do you really want to risk spending the rest of you life in a wheel chair with a purple heart as consolation? And for what cause? It's all bullshit man, BULLSHIT

... do I need to go on, is it working yet?