Quote Originally Posted by birdgirl73
You can't help him. That's the point. Only he can help himself, and it sounds like he isn't anywhere near the point of even realizing he has a problem, much less addressing it.

An angry, alcoholic 19-year-old with three DUIs, a suspended driver's license, and a jail term isn't someone you're going to be able to help. Until he helps himself, he'll keep putting his life and that of others at risk. You can stick with him and enable him, let him keep yo-yoing your emotions, and be there to financially support him and bail him outta jail and other legal problems. But you can't help him. You can only help yourself, and the best way you could do that is by finding someone healthier unless you want to be pulled under with him.
I think you pretty much sumarized what I already know in my heart, but even thinking about cutting him out is unbearable. I have already spent $$ to get him out of jail and he has drawn attention to me as well (small town) and now all the cops know me and my car.

Part of me feels like even if I stick beside him through it all he wont appreciate it. He will feel as if it is owed to him. I am like a second mother to him as well as a girlfriend and yes, I am an enabler (not that I'm proud of this) because I cant stand to see him suffer withdrawal when he doesn't have alcohol....