I've felt worried about you lately, Crudemood, when I've read your posts. You have a lot to give, both to friends you could make and to a decent job. I think you undercut yourself far more than you ought, and I wish I could lay down some new self-talk tracks in your brain so you knew you were capable of getting out there, connecting with who you want to connect with, and doing great things. Sounds like there's a part of you that's happy being isolated right now, which is fine in small doses, but when it becomes your preferred mode of existence--at least when it does for me this is true--that's not a good sign. I've always found that getting out there and doing something on a volunteer basis is a good way to meet folks with common interests and common sympathies. Taking classes of any kind is, too. I'm not sure I believe that everyone finds a great vocational or avocational passion. We all settle at various times. But I definitely agree with Geo that it'll help you stay more connected if you get back out there and get busy with something, even if it's just volunteering instead of working. You could also use some practice giving yourself affirmations to reinforce good thoughts about yourself. You could do those while you're running!