Lost and confused. Help?

[birdgirl73]

I've felt worried about you lately, Crudemood, when I've read your posts. You have a lot to give, both to friends you could make and to a decent job. I think you undercut yourself far more than you ought, and I wish I could lay down some new self-talk tracks in your brain so you knew you were capable of getting out there, connecting with who you want to connect with, and doing great things. Sounds like there's a part of you that's happy being isolated right now, which is fine in small doses, but when it becomes your preferred mode of existence--at least when it does for me this is true--that's not a good sign. I've always found that getting out there and doing something on a volunteer basis is a good way to meet folks with common interests and common sympathies. Taking classes of any kind is, too. I'm not sure I believe that everyone finds a great vocational or avocational passion. We all settle at various times. But I definitely agree with Geo that it'll help you stay more connected if you get back out there and get busy with something, even if it's just volunteering instead of working. You could also use some practice giving yourself affirmations to reinforce good thoughts about yourself. You could do those while you're running!

[crudemood]

Thanks birdgirl its always good to have a grounded person and less emotional person to give their own perspective on things because my emotions are always getting in the way and it tends to cloud my vision. Emotions, sometimes you can't live with them but then again you can't live without them.
I feel better now.

BA, thats depressing but sad to say in my experience very true.

[geonagual]

I am glad you are feeling better crude..I think you would make a great friend.

[Coelho]

Its weird to think that random people, about the millions of people that come on here, you 4 loverlies would stop and help another person reaching out online to strangers NOT knowing how much it counts. But it really does.

Well... i may dont know you... but if i can help you any way, why dont to? Love is weird... as more you give to others, more is left with you... And im very glad that i was of some help to you, and that youre better now.

[beachguy in thongs]

Crudemood, my only friends are the ones that I see. Right now, I see you. How can you say that you have no friends?

[geonagual]

I didnt notice that..I am a loverlie now..whatever that is. LOL

[geonagual]

Crudemood, my only friends are the ones that I see. Right now, I see you. How can you say that you have no friends?

Cool...does that mean I am your friend to?

[beachguy in thongs]

Well, Im going to vent a little bit, and maybe a little advice is needed.

So right now my current situation is that, I recently quit my job that paid $8/hr. Its been a month and I actually don't want to work again so I've been sitting at home for the past couple of weeks doing nothing and I feel like I've been wasting my time. I want to get a job but as an asian girl I don't know what job is suitable for me. To be honest, I'm not as intelligent as I ever hoped to be. I want to work but just the thought of working under shitty conditions again gives me shivers.

I don't have many friends. I can go days without talking to anyone but for some reason I feel fine and satisfied with exactly what I'm doing.

My basic day is, I wake up , go jogging, take a shower, maybe go out to grab some breakfast and the rest of my day just doddling. I'm alone about 80% of the day, it used to bother me that I had no friends but now I'm getting used to it but I don't know if thats okay. I don't know if me not wanting to do anything with my life is okay. I don't know why but I just don't want to do anything, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything. When forced to I'm great in social settings, I get along with people fine but for some reason I prefer to be alone and do nothing.

I want to make my way somewhere in life and live my own life, I just don't know what the next step for me is to do. I see myself living a fulfilling life full of things I want to do, except right now I just want a couple of friends and some goals/motivation in life. I think one of the worst things is that I have no friends, literally and so therefore have no peers to talk this through with, to compare lives with.

Sure, in the past few years I was super confident but now I'm a little bit lost. I need a little guidance. I need some clarity. Anyone, please.

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.



Thats exactly what I don't want to be. Very relatible though, thats me, for sure. You hit it smack dab on the nose, Narf.

All this makes me realize Finding passion is really hard. Its like finding a needle in a haystack! Impossible!

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

Yeah, friends are just a memory for me now! How sad is that to admit to? lol.
Its weird to think that random people, about the millions of people that come on here, you 4 loverlies would stop and help another person reaching out online to strangers NOT knowing how much it counts. But it really does.
I wish I could rep you geo, and the rest who gave such knowledgeable advice a MILLION rep. Its the best I can right now, but its the thought that counts ;p

Thanks birdgirl its always good to have a grounded person and less emotional person to give their own perspective on things because my emotions are always getting in the way and it tends to cloud my vision. Emotions, sometimes you can't live with them but then again you can't live without them.
I feel better now.

BA, thats depressing but sad to say in my experience very true.

It tells a lot about you.

[beachguy in thongs]

Did I see something?

[geonagual]

I see your brooding..