Wow, 20" that is a hardliner stand you're taking there... I say just get to know the person well enough and if she's not that type of person then go for it and don't freak out about what other people do. If you're already in a physically intimate relationship before you find out what her behavior is like, then who's the one who's violating your standards? Is that... umm... a mirror I see in front of you? The point is, if you apply your standards to yourself it would be almost impossible to be in that situation in the first place.