It still hits me hard sometimes when I think of My Mom, that died when i was 10 years old. But for the most part I accept it for what it is, a aprt of my life, and it has made me who I am today. The pain does subside, but it does come back from time to time Slip. My Mom was in so much emotional pain when she was alive in the end, and thought that her only way out was death itself. that was her choice and now 20 years later I accept it for what it is. It didn't take me 20 years to realize this, but the better part of 10 years. Only time will tell Slip, but the pain will subside, One day you will start focusing more on the postive memories though, and not the whole negative effect of your brothers death, on your life. Time is an amazing thing...