Heheheh.... I have a nice little Black Friday story..

I had been drinking since around noon, Thanksgiving day. People had been lining up around the Best Buy in Fayetteville since 9:30AM the same day. My family and I (Including my little brother back from Germany, before going to Iraq ) passed by sometime in the early afternoon.. There were over a hundred people already, at least 8 dome tents, 6 of those 12x12 tent pavillions, and two propane fires.

We picked up somebody from Alan's unit who came to Fayetteville as well, a good friend of his, and around midnight we decided to pass by the Best Buy to see how big the crowd had gotten. It. Had. Grown.

The parking lot was already full, and the line was even bigger. One of us younger bucks got the idea to cut to the front of the line and see how people reacted So we post up at the very front, and after about 20 seconds, this guy comes walking nonchallantly up, peeks in the window, and says "what time do they open.. 5:30?" As if he hadnt been there for 16 hours. I responded that I didnt know or care, and he said "What time did you guys get here to get such a great spot in line?"

"Just now," I said He tried to tell us that we couldnt do that, that people would get angry, and the shit just started spewing out of my mouth like liquor shits after a night of drinkin all three of the Wise Men.

A lynch mob of about 40 enormous rednecks immediately materialized around us, and thats when I began to get that evil gleam in my eye, and satanic grin. I was making remarks like "Its a good day for dying," and "Im fuckin starving, too, which one of you motherfuckers am I gonna cook and eat after ripping your throat out?" It was not very responsible, but thats what happens when I drink for 12 hours straight, and show up at a redneck mob with two trained killers at my back, and 9 years of repressed thoughts and actions of violence.

At one point, prime-candidate-for-death-redneck-number-one that looked like he just ate pre-subway Jared was telling us how we werent going to get in, me laughing in his face the whole time. I leaned in his ear and said "the funny thing is.... we arent even gonna buy anything." He matter-of-factly responded "I know yore not!!"

I laughed long and hard, making sure the joviality in my laughter was grinding away at his patience. Then I said (for everybody to hear) "It has nothing to do with you! We are only here to make fun of you fucks! HAHAHAHAHAHHAahahah!!! Holy fuck!! Are you fucking kidding me? I would eat you AND your children!"

I was paying special attention to him because I saw he kept reaching for something in his back pocket with his right hand.. I may have been drunk but not that drunk.. Ill be god-damned if a slob like him is gonna catch me off-guard. I was hoping his girlfriend would stop grabbing his arm, so that he could make his move and I could decimate his trachea. But no physicality took place, which, in retrospect was a good thing. Considering my little brother is a Military Police... Not trying to get him in trouble lol.

Eventually I was coerced by the more responsible two into leaving, and the rednecks shouted their "victory", and I laughed at them. We got back to the van, and I realized my mom wasnt with us.. she was still videotaping the people in line LMAO.

We got like 7 minutes of videotape.. unfortunately she was interviewing people in line, and managed to miss the best part lol.

The story even made it in the Fayetteville Observer yesterday lol.

AAhhhhhhh great times I just had to get the asshole outta my system while I was feelin randy