thanks to this zombie scare y'all have just massacred 132 drunken armenian day laborers. they were just minding their own business, heading over the hill to hang out in front of home depot when y'all swooped down on them with your guns and knives and chainsaws and whatnot and ya slaughtered every last one of them. this sort of thing has got to stop. we have declared a moratorium and until all zombies have been issued proper i.d. there will be no more zombie killing parties. you can't just go wandering around killing anything that shambles without first performing a thorough background check and physical examination on the purported zombies. just being zombie-like is no reason to have your head disconnected from the rest of your body. i can't begin to count the number of times i've been wandering home from some party, blasted half out of my gourd, and found myself fending off a half a dozen would-be zombie killers intent of demolishing my brain. i repeat, this sort of thing must stop.