there i was, just tripping merrily along through fields of dead groundhogs, when some fool comes along and tries to cave in my skull. just because i'm covered from head to toe in groundhog goo and stumbling mindlessly through this blasted landscape doesn't mean i'm a zombie! next time one of you tries that, i'm gonna hit ya over the head with a rotting groundhog carcass and cram a fistful of fetid swamp grass down yer freakin' gullet. now i realize that it may be difficult for you to tell the difference between an aging hippie and a zombie, but please ask for photo i.d. before swinging away with that club of yours.

by the by, how can something be sharp and blunt at the same time?