When you are in a conversaion that seems to hit a dead spot, it's usually best to ask a question. It's harder to try to think of something that another person will be interested in hearing. But people like to talk about themselves, so if you help to draw them out with questions, it can keep a conversation moving. People will think you are a great conversationalist if you ask them lots of questions and show an interest in what they are talking about. If you spend the whole time talking about yourself or what you think or trying to teach them something, they might find it boring.

People also like small compliments, as long as you don't everdo it.

Meeting smart people who have shared interests can be hard if you are not really a "joiner." It's usually easier if you can go to the places where those peopoe are: classes, special interest clubs, etc. But sometimes that feels a littel artificial or stuffy --- I like intellectual conversations, but that's not all I like.

I have met a lot of very smart people at work. I've made some great friends through my jobs.

Most of my freinds though, have come through other freinds. Certain people are "connectors" who make lots of freinds easily, and those are the people who connect the rest of us who don't make freinds as easily. If you can meet a person like that, it will help you to expand your circle.

And if it's actually a girlfreind you are looking for it's OK to let people know you are looking. I met most of my girlfreinds and my wife through other people who introduced us. They didn't necessarily say "here's your new girlfriend," they just introduced us and let things go from there.

Another thing to remember is to not put too much importance on every social interaction. Don't worry too much about how your reaching out is going to be percieved. I used to do that. It's not a big deal to invite a coworker you like to lunch. It's not a big deal if you ask a girl out and she is not interested. You have to reach out. Everyone does, so don't worry about it.
dragonrider Reviewed by dragonrider on . People Listening/Searching for intellectual peers Inspired by the people watching thread of course:jointsmile:. Anybody ever tried people listening? I've tried people-listening so I can learn how to socialize, analyzing conversations to see how average people make small talk/chit chat (as is I'm totally socially isolated outside these boards). Honestly, average people talk about nothing. I was listening to this guy and girl talking on the bus and it was 25 minutes of: "I got that chain fixed on my bike" "yeah, not having a bike Rating: 5