People Listening/Searching for intellectual peers

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Inspired by the people watching thread of course:jointsmile:.


Anybody ever tried people listening? I've tried people-listening so I can learn how to socialize, analyzing conversations to see how average people make small talk/chit chat (as is I'm totally socially isolated outside these boards). Honestly, average people talk about nothing.

I was listening to this guy and girl talking on the bus and it was 25 minutes of:

"I got that chain fixed on my bike"
"yeah, not having a bike sucks"
"yeah, but driving's better. My buddy got a new paint job on his car"
"What colour?"
"Blue"
"yeah blue's good, I like red too..."


Seriously, 25 minutes of this! I don't know how I'm ever going to learn to socialize, I've listened to lots of other people too and they either talk about nothing, or just gossip about other people. Doesn't anybody excercise their intellect? Or am I doomed to be alone forever because I can't find my fellow thinkers?

Do you guys/gals find the same thing, that most people just talk about nothing at all? Or am I looking in the wrong places? Any ideas where I could look for people who can make conversation that actually gets some neurons firing?

Gandalf_The_Grey Reviewed by Gandalf_The_Grey on 11-19-2007. People Listening/Searching for intellectual peers Inspired by the people watching thread of course:jointsmile:. Anybody ever tried people listening? I've tried people-listening so I can learn how to socialize, analyzing conversations to see how average people make small talk/chit chat (as is I'm totally socially isolated outside these boards). Honestly, average people talk about nothing. I was listening to this guy and girl talking on the bus and it was 25 minutes of: "I got that chain fixed on my bike" "yeah, not having a bike Rating: 5

[CanaDanKs Inc.]

Dude when I first moved to the US... I could not formulate a whole sentence in English..

I spent my entire sophomore year in high school people watching/listening..

To this day I still think it was the most interesting part of my life, and I plan to do it again, many many times!


It was very interesting to watch people's body language, facial expressions, and trying to figure out how the words they said matched their behaviors. It thought me a lot about communication and cognitive processes...how people react to certain expressions and words we throw at them. Social skills are cool as shit!!

[stinkyattic]

If you're so smart, don't you think you should be able to find intellectual equals fairly easily? Sheesh. Go down to the park and chill with the oldsters playing chess... Hit on sexy librarians... join MENSA... Hang out on cannabis.com...

You ARE aware I hope that the smarties hang out right here?

[nightlight]

Inspired by the people watching thread of course:jointsmile:.


Anybody ever tried people listening? I've tried people-listening so I can learn how to socialize, analyzing conversations to see how average people make small talk/chit chat (as is I'm totally socially isolated outside these boards). Honestly, average people talk about nothing.

I was listening to this guy and girl talking on the bus and it was 25 minutes of:

"I got that chain fixed on my bike"
"yeah, not having a bike sucks"
"yeah, but driving's better. My buddy got a new paint job on his car"
"What colour?"
"Blue"
"yeah blue's good, I like red too..."


Seriously, 25 minutes of this! I don't know how I'm ever going to learn to socialize, I've listened to lots of other people too and they either talk about nothing, or just gossip about other people. Doesn't anybody excercise their intellect? Or am I doomed to be alone forever because I can't find my fellow thinkers?

Do you guys/gals find the same thing, that most people just talk about nothing at all? Or am I looking in the wrong places? Any ideas where I could look for people who can make conversation that actually gets some neurons firing?

you are listening too closely.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

If you're so smart, don't you think you should be able to find intellectual equals fairly easily? Sheesh. Go down to the park and chill with the oldsters playing chess... Hit on sexy librarians... join MENSA... Hang out on cannabis.com...

You ARE aware I hope that the smarties hang out right here?

Hey don't get me wrong Stinky, I LOVE this site and all our intelligent members here. But I can't go on forever depending on a website as my sole means of social interaction!

I'm smart, but not smart enough for MENSA (Yet. perhapse later, my mental clarity has been steadily improving since getting my stress/depression under control).

It's already a pain in the ass enough that I panic in large crowds. Overal, I'm really socially innept; probably because my brother has full-blown aspergers, and my sister and I both exhibit strong symptoms, just not strong enough as to be diagnosed. Socializing is the greatest intellectual challenge of all for me.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

you are listening too closely.

Maybe, but my biggest difficulty in socializing is finding conversation material. Every so often I've tried just talking about biology, quantum theory, politics, anything more in my way of thinking; and they always just give me a blank look and go "huh?...."


EDIT: except for politics, but people are so touchy about it that they avoid conversation in this field like the plague.

[stinkyattic]

Oh right right. That's the sticky point... finding smarties who you don't have to join a club or do big social stuff to meet. Hm... This will take some thought... Like, how large a group of people does it take for you to get jumpy? Could you do a small book club? Maybe an activity like a river cleanup day where you don't have to hang out in the group the whole time? What's an activity that you like enough to feel confident in a larger group of people than you'd normally like being around? Do you get down with that whole games/role playing thing so you wouldn't have to be 'you', you could be someone else for the day? I'm just throwing out ideas here. I keep forgetting where you're at, but in the Northeast, the Appalachian Mountain Club hosts all sorts of nerdy-outdoorsy activities like birdwatching hikes and that sort of thing, super chill crowd, often a little on the stuffy side, but in a good way, no pressure to contribute unless you're comfortable. Stuff like that. Meanwhile, this place IS good practice. I'm a lot more socially confident since joining the site, that's for damn sure. Bartending helped a lot too, just forcing myself to interact with a lot of different people, including total assholes. That's the hardest part, and once you master talking to a total asswad who you'd rather just jump across the bar and throttle, you can pretty much talk to anyone...

[geonagual]

hmmmm...interesting....maybe your just putting your intellect to high or even putting to much emphasis on it..i dont doubt that your smart at all..I have read your posts, I know your smart..you need a stoner friend. maybe an online ad for a friend? they have em..what else? it sounds to me, that you need some practice friends..maybe an old person?

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Oh right right. That's the sticky point... finding smarties who you don't have to join a club or do big social stuff to meet. Hm... This will take some thought... Like, how large a group of people does it take for you to get jumpy? Could you do a small book club? Maybe an activity like a river cleanup day where you don't have to hang out in the group the whole time? What's an activity that you like enough to feel confident in a larger group of people than you'd normally like being around? Do you get down with that whole games/role playing thing so you wouldn't have to be 'you', you could be someone else for the day? I'm just throwing out ideas here. I keep forgetting where you're at, but in the Northeast, the Appalachian Mountain Club hosts all sorts of nerdy-outdoorsy activities like birdwatching hikes and that sort of thing, super chill crowd, often a little on the stuffy side, but in a good way, no pressure to contribute unless you're comfortable. Stuff like that. Meanwhile, this place IS good practice. I'm a lot more socially confident since joining the site, that's for damn sure. Bartending helped a lot too, just forcing myself to interact with a lot of different people, including total assholes. That's the hardest part, and once you master talking to a total asswad who you'd rather just jump across the bar and throttle, you can pretty much talk to anyone...

lol, yes I know I make things complicated. To put it in perspective, I'm all good in my business communications class of about 18 people that's spread out. I had to quit my Mangement Principles class because it was packed with 40 people on long rows of tables, completely surrounded. Way too stressful. Clubs/bars that are packed to the nuts, make me reeeaaly stressed out too. Weired eh? I really don't see why that particular situation, a really crowded room, is the one thing that stresses me out so much:wtf:


I think you have some pretty good ideas there, but I can't do anything outdoorsy for hours because of the nerve damage in my spine. Really I couldn't manage more than half an hour on my feet.

hmmmm, I suppose this whole question is more of a pain-in-the-ass than I considered. I suppose it's more for those who have come across a circumstance where they met intelligent people.

[stinkyattic]

Well then... it's back to the oldsters in the park playing chess. Sit your butt down, outdoors, and get it handed back to you by some cigar chewin', Cosby-sweater wearin', mothball stankin' guy with the wrinkles of Walter MAtthau and the moves of Gary Kasparov...