Good lord man, is the American system really that cruel!?!? If you can, you should move to Canada. Maybe the wait times are longer, but nobody is going to be left out because of an inability to pay.

I'm really sorry about your situation, I really am. I suffer from chronic pain from nerve/soft tissue damage in 3 places in my spine as well, with the sciatica to boot. I can't imagine trying to deal with it without painkillers, and your situation clearly sounds a lot worse than mine.

I found this website that seems to offer medical assistance and subsidized insurance for low-income family's and person's with disabilities. Maybe they could help you out.

Medicaid/Medical Assistance Overview


Good luck to you. Try meditation some time, I know it helps me. It's nice to have the mental escape, the mental refreshment.