The trick is in knowing which part of your mind you can trust. That' ALWAYS been what scares me the most......not being able to trust my own thoughts and judgements. The realization that my MIND would turn against me and cause me to harm myself.

I'm not talking about the normal stuff here.....(hey I think I'll hit the rush hour traffic on the freeway at 100mph...i'm sure it'll be fine) but the very ability of MY OWN MIND to think with such disregard to its own health and safety. Almost like a computer or something.....a bizarre ability of the mind to act in direct opposition of self preservation without seeming to know or realize how destructive that thinking is. THAT's the most frightening thing that occurs to me about mental issues.

I knew someone with a long history of mental illness...in and out of hospitals etc....multiple suicide attempts. She told me once that she could be walking along.....perfectly fine.....and see perhaps....an oleander bush (very toxic plant) and all of a sudden....without warning the thought would come into her head....."eat that plant" or "run in front of that car" and it took EVERYTHING she had to fight those thoughts....and sometimes she couldn't......therefore...multiple hospital visits.

That's probably the best example I can offer of not being able to trust your own thoughts and judgements. Not being able to trust yourself.

It's terrifying.