I used to suffer from chronic depression during my highschool years. Similar to you, I was on MANY antidepressants, and I almost had to drop out of school, but was lucky enough to change schools to one that let me do the work without having to go to the classes (Which I surprisingly passed with an A)

At 17, I decided that antidepressants weren't doing anything to me except make me feel like a zombie, with emotions but without able to let them out. Once I stopped my antidepressants (About 4 high dosed ones, don't remember the names) cold turkey, it made me MUCH happier.

Needless to say, I went back to my shrink after that and told him about it, and he said my depression was gone.

I still suffer from mild depression, I'm pretty sure it's the normal type that hits people every now and then as I don't feel as bad as I used to. This, though, never happens if I got some cannabis with me.

I usually smoke all day, every day, which makes me the happiest mofo in the planet. I've smoked all sorts, regs to chronic and some exotic stuff and none of them has made me more depressed than I can get while sober.

The key to keeping anxiety to a minimum is to smoke at a place where you will be completely relaxed and won't fear of anyone finding you and ruining your day.

Also, I don't know if you drive or not, but if you started smoking I'd wait a while (I waited a couple of months) to get used to being high before you get behind the wheel, and try to keep that to a minimum. If you're going to drive while high, smoke very little so it won't slow you down and will relax you. In my case, if I'm going to be driving I take a hit or two of some decent quality bud.

Also remember to go slow at first. Take a couple of hits and if you don't feel anything, take a couple more. The first time some people have said that they don't feel anything, as it happened to a friend. I did feel it the first time, and to fix my friend's trip I told him to smoke a cigarette (which he does smoke, so don't do this if you don't), but to do it slowly and enjoy it. Needless to say within two drags of the cigarette he was wobbling all over the place.

Also, since you don't have any friends that have smoked before, rolling a J might not be a good start. You could try making an apple pipe, it will cool the smoke and make it taste better too. And remember that if you need to learn how to roll or something, google is your friend.

Sorry for the long post, and I hope cannabis can help you like it did me and many others.

Peace.