Um. There are a lot of things there, and they're probably all separate.

Regarding the cops - cops take men more seriously than they take women, cause a lot of them are sexist too. So maybe this other man is sexist, or maybe he was just being pragmatic about who should have dealt with the cops. I would rather have the men deal with the cops. It seems to usually be more effective. Sometimes that shit isn't worth worrying about, anyway.

Regarding the icebreakers, maybe you should think of better icebreakers, or make him start the conversation if he doesn't like yours.

And regarding her talking down to you, why don't you talk down to her, too? Turnabout is fair play.

Bottom line, if there's too much bullshit going on, you don't have to hang out with them anymore. It's your life. If they are best friends, then let your man hang out with them. You don't have to go along if you don't want to!