why am i single??

[blackbarbie]

first off i am not a bad looking girl. i know i'm not a dime but i'm far from ugly and i look better than a lot of girls. i've seen some ugly ass girls with bfs so i dont think looks are a problem right?

i dress okay, i could probably work on that.

i'm shy but i open up once i feel more comfortable.

i'm really smart. i make great grades in school and i'm witty

i'm not flirty. it turns out that all these "subtle signals" i've been trying to give guys for years are only interpreted as being nice! so maybe that's it.

so do u think there is anything that could be preventing me from having a man? if i forgot anything please lemme know and be completely honest. idk what i'm doing wrong here!

blackbarbie Reviewed by blackbarbie on 11-13-2007. why am i single?? first off i am not a bad looking girl. i know i'm not a dime but i'm far from ugly and i look better than a lot of girls. i've seen some ugly ass girls with bfs so i dont think looks are a problem right? i dress okay, i could probably work on that. i'm shy but i open up once i feel more comfortable. i'm really smart. i make great grades in school and i'm witty i'm not flirty. it turns out that all these "subtle signals" i've been trying to give guys for years are only Rating: 5

[rebgirl420]

If you want a man you can't wait for him to come and sweep you off your feet. Go to them. :thumbsup:

[blackbarbie]

well i have really low self esteem also so i just assume the guys not into me before anything happens. so i cant do that. =/ its good advice though, but i really just cant.

[stinkyattic]

Reason #1: Underestimating yourself! Smart + witty = can be a bit intimidating... maybe you're accidentally going for guys who are easily intimidated. The small fry do not want to date the big fish. So go for the BIG fish. The smart ones. You know, guys with a brain.

It's like this: Do not try to sell custom car parts at the farmers market.

Take what you have to offer to a place where the fellas are looking for it. Taking your goods to the club, where the mans are all after the hottie-of-of-the-week, isn't going to get a ton of bites of the sort you're probably after.

My neighbor (46 year old dude, quite the player back in the day) told me last time I was whining about not getting any play at the bars, "You make dumb boys feel dumber. You wanna date them, stop using big words. You want to keep acting like yourself, go hang out with guys who appreciate that. And for God's sake stop whining."

#2: Subtlety does not always work on men. Sometimes ya just gotta bonk em in the head to make them pay attention. Just for shits and giggles, next time you're out with just one girlfriend (won't necessarily work if you're out with the whole crew, can be intimidating), go hit up a restaurant bar. Not a club where it's like the meat market, but an after-work spot, like a sports bar and grill, where the professional dudes stop after work, and just straight up send some hottie a drink. Be bold. Oh- and a spot like that, see if you can't toss together an outfit that's both professional and feminine... like an interview suit, but the interview is for a boyfriend...
Have fun!

[THClord]

Here's a smart, single guy's opinion:

Subtle signs: Girls are 10 times better reading subtle signs than guys. Instead of trying so hard to give the right signs, just try to read signs off of guys so you know what he's thinking.
Confidence: If you know what the guy is thinking, it will give you a lot of confidence. I would only go after a girl who is confident. Just by being confident you will give the right signs too.
Dressing good: Matters a LOT. Someone who dresses good vs. average is the difference of a guy going over to you or just letting the opportunity pass. Plus, dressing good will boost your confidence, which is also good.

I'm a smart guy, if I find a girl who is as smart as me, and has confidence, and looks, there is no way I'm not gonna try to get that girl.
If the guy is not smart it could be opposite.
But what do you want, just any guy, or a smart guy?


And don't assume a guy is not into you.

This is how a guy's brain works, step by step: At every step a girl can be eliminated from a guy's mind. But if she passes the step, the girl stays on the guy's mind.
1: Sees a girl.
2: Checks her out. (Only looks matter at this stage. A lot of girls are gone by here)
3: Looks at if she's approachable (Best if she's alone, but 1 girl with her will work too if the guy is very confident)
4: Tries to start a conversation (If you are assuming the guy is into you at this point, you'll have a better chance of keeping his interest)
And if you think you don't know if the guy is interested or not, it's waaaay worse for the guy to know if the girl is really interested or not. If you are interested, and the guy is about to leave without asking for your number, the best thing you can do is write your number on a piece of paper and give it to him.

[Trip06]

I agree with thclord, this is good advice.

[DurbanStone]

Girls can pick up guys like nothing. We work for the girl, not the other way around.

[Canadian_Cron]

i'm not flirty. it turns out that all these "subtle signals" i've been trying to give guys for years are only interpreted as being nice! so maybe that's it.

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id say thats most likely it. you dont have to be "flirty" to flirt. its actually better if your not cause wen u do they get the point.

only other thing i could think of but i dont no for sure caus ei dont no you but... confidence mabye?

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And don't assume a guy is not into you.

This is how a guy's brain works, step by step: At every step a girl can be eliminated from a guy's mind. But if she passes the step, the girl stays on the guy's mind.
1: Sees a girl.
2: Checks her out. (Only looks matter at this stage. A lot of girls are gone by here)
3: Looks at if she's approachable (Best if she's alone, but 1 girl with her will work too if the guy is very confident)
4: Tries to start a conversation (If you are assuming the guy is into you at this point, you'll have a better chance of keeping his interest)
And if you think you don't know if the guy is interested or not, it's waaaay worse for the guy to know if the girl is really interested or not. If you are interested, and the guy is about to leave without asking for your number, the best thing you can do is write your number on a piece of paper and give it to him.

and as a rule heres what most girls do if they are interested:

1) keeps eyes contact
2) smiling, laughing
3) move closer to you/ touch you on the arm or something

basically flirting...

[jeepboi]

subtle is very hard for men to pick up. be straight forward.

[Canadian_Cron]

yea cause as a rule guys get right to the point so to speak.. we actually only know how to read some of the subtle signs girls make from practise lol! but to be honest we just dont get it most of the time.