Quote Originally Posted by matthiasj
I wish we could come to an agreement, I'm still trying to figure out what to do.
Just as an FYI, sometimes couples can negotiate compromises, and sometimes you just have to agree to disagree and still work out a way to exist with each other and your differences.

Here's her stance: She worries about the illegality of pot and the fact that when you're high you may act a little different. Those are legitimate worries. People do act and feel different when they're high. Actually, that's a big part of why they enjoy getting high. And the illegality? People very definitely get busted for grass. That's a valid concern. She also worries about its effects on your health and possibly hers, too. If she's not a smoker and doesn't like the stuff, she shouldn't have to get second-hand weed smoke if she doesn't want to.

Here's your stance: You fully intend to smoke anyway and hang with your buddies and do so. Sounds like you also fully intend to spend your spare money on weed. You're also willing to be dishonest with her about the facts and frequency of your smoking. So it's obviously very important to you. You also mentioned that you want to persuade her to come around on the topic, but all you can do is provide the information to persuade. She's the one who'll have to come around. And she may not. You can't change someone else. You can only influence her. She's the one who'll have to do the changing.

Lost of people have a whole lot of negative perceptions about weed. Some of those have valid foundations. Many don't. Education--a slow and gradual campaign of information and facts regarding cannabis--can make a difference. If I were your girl, though, nothing in the world would ever make me feel better about its illegality. No one who loves someone else wants to see him doing something that could risk him getting busted. If I ever found out about it, I also wouldn't feel very good about the fact that you lied to me.

She may not come around on this topic. If that's the case, you'll have to agree to disagree and find a way for you to smoke separately from her. Hope that won't be the case and that you two can reach a compromise that you're both comfortable with. Good luck! Keep us updated, OK?