Hilder, what happened was NOT your fault .. stop convicting yourself for a crime you did not commit.

What happened to you in your life is what has made you who you are today. From the sound of it, you seem to be pretty happy with the woman you have become.

Have you considered having some type of pre-marital counseling? There may be some good insight to gain from that. Plus it gives you both someone you can discuss your feelings with privately.

Best of luck to you .. and stop being so hard on yourself :hippy: