My current Gf of 2 years Has had similar problems in the past (childhood). I'm basically the complete opposite My parents stayed together didn't do drugs and there was definitly no abuse. besides the abuse that I gave them in My "I Don't Care" teenager days.

So I knew somthing was up when I first met her. I'm not the pushsy type so I let her come to me. And she did, when she felt the time was right. So slowly I would learn things that definitly helped me understand her better. In fact If it weren't for her telling me some of these things we wouldn't be where we are today. However,,, She didn't tell me in person... she typed me a letter. A few times with different things from her past. I was floored when I read them. I have always read storys like that but never actully meet somone that went throught it. She found typing it to me was much easier than actully telling me in person. So you might wanna give that a try.

Heres one thing I learned from this whole experience. I know what happened in her past childhood. The BS and horror of it all. but no matter how hard I try, No matter how much I think about it . I will never understand what it feels like. Not even for a second. And that still to this day leaves me at a loss. Somtimes I say things that are no biggy to me but to her because of those experiences its devastating. because I can never feel what she felt I have no clue. it can be hard at times.

So all im trying to get across. Is just because you tell him that stuff he will never fully undertand how you feel about it and he definitly will not understand what it felt like. But I felt it was important that I found out about the past. because like I said earlier it did help me undersatnd a few things about her better. things I never could have figured out on my own. Even very little things. Ex(obsessive complusive cleaning of the aprtment)


So you should tell him. And if its too uncomforatble to do in person Emails are great or letters or whatever. Its just another way a expression. and is alot easier for most people.

I wouldn't worrie to much about him looking at you different or treating you different. He might initally but thats just cuz he feels he might have too (guys somtimes think Girls tell us things to try and solve a problem or to find a solution). I did that for a bit and I was pretty much told I didn't have to do that right away. My GF is a extreamly strong person as well. She doesn't like much help with certin things and she isn't shy about letting me know. Its a blessing and a curse at the same time... hahahah

Just make sure you let him know your not looking for a solution or answer. All your looking for is moving foward in the relationship.

He will never understand what it felt like. Or how it effects you today or tommrow. However it will help him make his own efforts to becomming a better Husband/boyfriend/Lover etc. and add strength and stability to your relatioship. which is the ultimate goal right?

So with that go write him a letter or talk with him..

hope something in there helped.

kd_special