Should I tell him?

[cutecalikitty]

Hilder, the only way I would ever treat you differently after this is if I saw you out somewhere wearing spandex .. thats just wrong :hippy:

[stinkyattic]

I just dont know what hes gonna think or say.. He is or was a runner, when i told him i had an abortion without telling him first he didnt speak to me for a year. I dont expect him to run away this time, but im afraid he will see me as damaged and maybe feel sorry for me. I dont want pity from anyone. .

I'm sure the reason he was upset about the abortion was that he was personally involved in the circumstances leading up to that. This is very very different. TELL him you don't want pity, TELL him that you don't want him to see you as damaged- that you've HEALED and telling him is the final part of the process of becoming whole again.

I moved this back into the general sexuality area because this isn't a woman's issue, this is an issue that men and women BOTH have to deal with; men get sexually abused as well, and they and their partners have to go through this too.

Stay strong Hilder, you're doing the right thing, and I hope that talking about it here is good practice for what you are going to say to him.

[WeedyBoyWonder]

In my opinion I think telling him is the best option.
If you considering marrying this person, having children with him... something like that shouldn't be kept to yourself I don't think as it could potentially cause issues down the line.
If he is who you think and say he is, then I'm sure it wouldn't cause problems and atleast it would be in the open with you both and nothing needs to be hidden from each other.
Best of luck with that ever you do.

[thcbongman]

Strength doesn't come from nowhere. There is always a source that makes us stronger everyday.

If he loves you, he won't change how he sees you. Plus if you tell him, he might open up a little more

[geonagual]

I just wanted to say hi carry on

[itsofficial]

i didnt really read any of the replies, but i say definatly tell him. if he really cares about you nothing will change.if you tell him it will definaly take a huge load off your chest and you will be so relieved that you did,and you probably realize that you should have told him a long time ago.

and if your thinking of marriage and kids secrets like that cant be secrets anymore. thats just my opinion. good luck with everything

[jessem98]

if you truly love him then tell him, if someone cant love you for who you really are and not what they believe then they dont really love YOU

[Hilder420]

Couldnt do it. He got pissed, i left, its over. and now i can breathe. i just knew he wasnt gonna react in a good way after a few choice comments. after some negotiations, we were goin back to friends, hadnt decided on the benefits, but i think im done. oh and this all happened like days ago.

[geonagual]

Couldnt do it. He got pissed, i left, its over. and now i can breathe. i just knew he wasnt gonna react in a good way after a few choice comments. after some negotiations, we were goin back to friends, hadnt decided on the benefits, but i think im done. oh and this all happened like days ago.

just burn it down, but not all the way..

Thats how I do it...

commited relationships scare the shit out of me. lol

[Hilder420]

yeah it was mostly out of my commitment phobia, but also that i knew he was gonna say or do something stupid, and instead of me saying something, i just saved it all and avoided it.. its for the best, i know it. glad i listened to my head.