I feel a little guilty for thinking uncharitable thoughts toward Paris. I do think she's a pretty girl, and I'm sensitive to the fact that Geonagual finds her attractive. But it pains me that she's done nothing more significant with her life, like getting an education and putting that Hilton name and money to better use than as a party-porno girl.

I'm afraid I harbor no redeeming thoughts whatsoever about Britney. I'm just sorry she wasn't spayed three years ago. There I go again with the veterinary association . . . .