We are in a society that denies death on a personal level. Widow(er)s are ignored or even shunned. It is not uncommon to lose the majority of your friends after the initial mourning period.

We do not speak of death unless it has affected us in a personal way. We are afraid of death.

In the 1800s, we had a different death culture. Death was a constant companion. Women in childbirth, children and babies died in large numbers. It was not that unusual for a woman to lose half of her children before they hit their teens. Or for a man to outlive his first two wives, only to be outlived by the third wife.

There is a bit from Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain where (I think) Tom is speaking to his aunt who had thought him dead and drowned in the Mississippi River- "But I'm past the dyin' age!" Even children were aware of mortality back then.

Now, until a grandparent dies, most children are blissfully unaware of death. I have had to field a question at school where a child told me he was afraid to go to sleep, "because granpa went to sleep and they put him in a box in the dirt!" That was a merry mess to sort out!

Then there was Elizabeth, whose father was killed in an auto accident last year. She is 6- there I am hugging her on the playground, explaining that Daddy was so broken he HAD to go to heaven because we couldn't make him well here! And that he really wishes he could give her a hug, so I give her one to replace it.

Yeah, how do you deal with death?

An online friend killed herself recently. I got drunk and stoned for 2 days. Monday I went to work. Quietly explained the situation to my boss (who understood, Goddess bless her) and went about my business. "The wind made my eyes water and my allergies were acting up", but you just keep in moving through life. Today was better. Tomorrow will be better still. We do not forget, but life goes on- no matter what. Cry if you have to, but LIVE!- Granny