Thanks guys, by pretty obvious, this is what i did

i didnt stand up to welcome him, or move over so he could sit. i asked him what he was doing here when i was busy, i refused to kiss him goodbye and i just got up and went inside. If thats not a strong blow off i dont know what is. though if he calls me again i will answer and tell him to piss off.

yeah i was mean, but i was angry and i felt like my privacy had been violated and he was mooching off me.

Im not possessive of what i own, my roommates eat my food, we share weed, alcohol, if i own it, unless i need it for something specific i share it..

now, we dont keep our back door locked and lots of friends will just walk in.

and we don't mind. however they tell us they are coming over. when i listened to my phone messages later, he did not say he was coming over. he just said oh i guess you are not there.

It was more the fact that he showed up without asking or telling me, after i told him i couldnt get together, and i didnt answer his phone call while in the middle of writing a paper. then he started asking me for things. the cigs were one thing, the weed...i wasnt smoking weed. totally out of line.

If it was even a friend who had asked me out of the blue i wouldnt care so much. its the fact that its a dating situation and he starts asking me for things like that. hes not a good friend, and frankly, in dating situations the dynamic is very different. its a very high context situation where you have to read body language and abide by the norm, and when guys start to ask me for things right off the bat like that, i feel like im going to end up being used.

hell, if he was my own age i wouldnt even be soooo critical. but he is 27 and should damn well know better. hell if i know better at 21, at 27 if he doesnt get it, hes not going to.


thanks for the feedback guys, i have a protector, a good buddy of mine is a bit rough and offered to be my protection. i dont think i will need it, but i have it. and i dont live on my own, i live with a guy and and a girl, so im almost never home alone.