I understand why you wrote what you wrote.

You bottled up your feelings for so long you let them out in anger. No no no. That'll only result in more anger, and then sadness. It's a vicious cycle you have to break.

Bit by bit, try to be more expressive on what's your mind. Don't let it build up, or this is the result: you became what you preached against: the asshole.

If she is truly your friend, things will fall right back into place. One time I attacked and beat up my friend for absolutely no reason. It took a couple months before we started hanging out again, but it's like the good old days again, the incident is forgotten. In the meantime, don't loathe yourself and do your thing.

Everyone does some dumb things sometimes. You have to learn from it my friend. That's all.