and at this point it's a qustion.... but i do ask that anyone with STRONG disagreement stayout of it (as in those who would say things like quitting is for pussies or w/e)

anyways, i do have to speifcy i do have to point out i am no in anyway considering stoppping using 'mind alternating chemcials' whether they be weed, alcohol or anything else....

at this point i's just merely a 'soul seeker' question...


do you have plans to ever stop it all and sober? or do you just go whevere the wind blows your sails? when i'm sober alli can think about is getting high... because the only time i can get my mind to slow down (i've had alot of emotional trauma in my life) and just stop so i can allow myself to be normal is by altering my sober state.... it doen't matter what i do, when i'm not sober i can't think quite right or as well.... so naturally when i am sober, and can think perfectly and perform at a higher rate then the population (as in if you split the population between slower minds and faster minds i'd be on the faster side, problems solvers and those who never stop thinking) anyways....

even with all that, when i get non-sober, i start feeling bad about myself... not because of what i'm doing, but because of why i'm doing it.... i've been through drug therpay clases and i was also locked up in ap lace that has a rehab program in it.... so i when i say, in fewer words 'i use it fix my problems' i feel even worse.... because that's the whole mentality that AA and similar programs feed on.... that a drug will never solve your problems, and i agree with that, but that doesn't mean it can't and won't help you deal with said problems (i don't ignore them either, i just don't lose my head, i'm more calm and rational)

but then when i go sober again, i realize i need said thing to 'be happy'... os it's like this continous circle.... when i have it, i'm fine and normal, and when i don't, i'm at rock bottom.... but that of course means when i have it, i do n't really wanna do it anymore.... but that just makes what i stated above even worse.... it ties into the 'one last thing time' only i never say it's one last time... i just get sober and realize life is going to be very hard without it...

and i do realize i'm rambling, but i want all my feeelings, thoughts an theories out there.... i don't confirm or deny i sound like the typical addict, that's not why i posted this here, i posted here to see if anyone ever feels the same... and if so what percentage do....

i already know, clinically i DO have a problem but those docotrs just group people together.... i mean you have you manic depressives, your shiczo's, etc.... but there are also diffrent levels, only doctors only really label it under one catagorey.... so yes, clinicly i have a problem, but on a perosnal basis they can't call that since everything reacts to people diffrent...

sorry that this is long, but i have alot of feeelings tied up into it, and it's been on my mind a long long time...
slipknotpsycho Reviewed by slipknotpsycho on . have a serious question and at this point it's a qustion.... but i do ask that anyone with STRONG disagreement stayout of it (as in those who would say things like quitting is for pussies or w/e) anyways, i do have to speifcy i do have to point out i am no in anyway considering stoppping using 'mind alternating chemcials' whether they be weed, alcohol or anything else.... at this point i's just merely a 'soul seeker' question... do you have plans to ever stop it all and sober? or do you just go whevere the Rating: 5