what the hell is wrong with me

[make it legal]

**WARNING THIS MIGHT BE A BIT GRAPHIC**

This nay be a long read but I really need some help.


So I've been going out with this girl for about 2 and a half weeks. We had sex for the first time on Saturday night, and before then, I was a virgin. Whenever we're getting close with each other I always get a hard on. The first time I got a hand job from her, I didn't reach orgasm, I got close a few times, but didn't hit it. The second time, I had to try to help myself orgasm by fondling her breasts a lot, and it worked. Before we had sex for the first time the other night, I was getting pretty worked up (pun intended). When I put it in, my erection would only last for maybe 20-30 seconds. I would be completely gone, but it wasn't as hard. I just didn't understand, she has one of the most perfect bodies i have ever seen. Eventually, I lasted long enough to orgasm.
Today, though, I wasn't able to. We had a little time today, though. I just don't understand what's going on. I mean, I get really turned on during all the preemptive stuff all the time. She said it was probably thinking too much about it. I think that might be it. Maybe I thought I wasn't living up to her expectations, because I know she has had experience. She also doesn't move at all and expects me to do all the work. I just want to see what you guys think...

Thank's for any help.

make it legal Reviewed by make it legal on 10-22-2007. what the hell is wrong with me **WARNING THIS MIGHT BE A BIT GRAPHIC** This nay be a long read but I really need some help. So I've been going out with this girl for about 2 and a half weeks. We had sex for the first time on Saturday night, and before then, I was a virgin. Whenever we're getting close with each other I always get a hard on. The first time I got a hand job from her, I didn't reach orgasm, I got close a few times, but didn't hit it. The second time, I had to try to help myself orgasm by fondling her Rating: 5

[stinkyattic]

Are you on any medications? There's one psych med in particular I'm thinking of that has as a side effect the inability to orgasm in some men who take it.

[make it legal]

No, I've only been taking an antibiotic for acne but I stopped a week ago when I ran out.

[birdgirl73]

You are indeed thinking too hard about it. This is a classic case of performance anxiety and nothing more. If you can get hard and achieve orgasm by hand and by yourself but are having trouble in a partner situation, that's performance anxiety. I mean, when you think about it, it is a situation that's fraught with tension.

You're a healthy, able-bodied young man. Try and chill out and give yourself a lot more foreplay time in advance to achieve a nice, solid erection. Sounds like you're also rushing things. That's easy to do when you're new at that. Good luck!

[make it legal]

Thanks for the help, BirdGirl. You always have an answer to every question. I probably have to get more comfortable with her. Thanks again.

[thcbongman]

When you reach the moment, let go of all your fears, and just do it!

[birdgirl73]

You're welcome, hun. Just take a little more time. Long foreplay is what does more for erectile function than nearly anything else (other than not smoking cigarettes!), and that'll get more and more true as you get older. I'm sure it's not easy to slow down when you're new at the activity and don't have a lot of long-lasting privacy. Just try and realize that she's not judging you or your performance.

[potsmokingnome]

You allways give the best advice birdgirl

[potsmokingnome]

Oh and make it legal I was the same way my first time..ya just have to relax, and go with the flow, just think its the most naturual thing in the woirld and there is nothin to worry about. To be honest i still get performance anxiety I've only had 3 sexual partners in my life, and the first doesn't really count cause everytime we tried, my little gnome would not stay stiff in the garden! I use to get sexual anxeity with my x-wife too, that may sound real messed, but when she'd ask me questions like "so are we going to have sex later tonight?" it kind of messed with my sexual anxiety big time, she never understood that..but yeah listen to birdgirl she's allways got the best advice.

[geonagual]

exactly what Birdgirl said I was gonna tell you...it has happened to me a few times in my lifetime...almost everytime it was me psyching myself up to make sure I do good and oh shit...what happened..nothing..pretty embarssing and can snowball because it will even get more built up..which makes it worse..
it is best just to chilled with the situation, relax, good foreplay and man what a difference that makes...plus knowing what it is makes a big difference in how you deal with it.