You know I was reading through this thread again and I was thinking...

It is really messed up! My profession has cost me many things. Relationships, friends, a normal life. And yet I know I will not change or compromise my lifestyle for any of these things. Wow that is fucked up. But I choose it.

I accept that I live in a shadow culture with incredible risks. Yet the lifestyle appeals to me. I have to believe there is someone for everyone...even for outlaws.

I have cut down on my risk factors. I do not do my "profession" at my house. I do not post anything about what I do in any targeted areas on the Internet. My normal friends do not even know that I smoke.

Yet I know if I ever do find someone special again that I need to tell them about it. I mean they have a right to know. I believe in honesty but have been burned before because of it. But if I tell them they might not like it.

Aarrggh! Why don't people come with instructions?

How can you know? You can't. You are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

Fortunately I am not looking for anything serious as far as relationships go right now. So I don't have to deal with it.

But one day I will have to face this again. I hope I choose wisely.