1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

B) Screwing

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

C) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A) Your partner climaxes first

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A) Healthy, creative love-play

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

B) The second best part of the experience

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

B) Not a problem - she can join your gym

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

B) An oxymoron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

B) Priming is to painting

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

B) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

C) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place


If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking


I didn't answer more than 7 times on A, B or C...