well one thing I have trouble seeing through is that without 'her' I an not even fully yang, because a yang male is supposed to be a certain way. the only way I could do it then is if I find a woman who compliments my 'yang' which isn't even completely 'yang' but an imbalanced 'yang male' so an imbalanced 'yin female' would do so, that we would compliment each other the way the normal 'male/female' relationships are supposed to be.

and so I'm making this whole thing weird.

and I don't believe in evolution by itself. evolution happens through creation, if creation is able, but if not then tough luck. the only motivating force may be pain. so I try connecting with nature but like.. the nature of imbalance is to 'die' and perhaps feel pain with pain being the only motivating force to live on.