In all seriousness I am able to do this. All it takes is a little flexibility and the right position. Put a couple pillows on the floor a couple feet away from the wall, then lie down with your head on the pillows facing away from the wall, swing your feet over your head and "walk down the wall" until you're face to face with your member. At this point I can usually tongue it a little and with some stretching I can get the head in my mouth. Much better than jacking off!