Quote Originally Posted by TPot
Me and my other cousin were playing monopoly.

I was three, and he was four. And I DOMINATE at monopoly.

Needless to say, I won. But I wouldn't be the winner for long, he decided. So he grabbed a phone (keep in mind this was 15 years ago, so not a cordless one, a BIG ASS METAL FUCKING PHONE) and proceeded to try and smash my head with it. My dad speared him and beat his ass (not really, I mean, he was only four, but when your about to smash your sons head with a big ass phone, it's what you do). Anyway, nothing more exciting that.

I guess the moral of the story would be DONT FUCK WITH ME AT MONOPOLY, OR YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS BEAT.
lol only if your dad is there to spear the next guy attempting to bash your skull in!


When I worked for Comcast, I would drive about an hour to work, early in the morning, and since I dont sleep, I would catch up on a bit of sleep while I drove to work. I cant remember if I told this story or not, but.. I woke up going uphill in the left lane. And there was a semi barrelling down towards me at about 45mph, about a second and a half away from smashing into me. So I calmly checked my blind spot and scooted back into my lane. I didnt even blink. Thats whats sad... Ive come close to death so many times and escaped, that it doesnt even phaze me. I shit you not, my heartrate didnt even raise, I checked.

Another time I was driving my little 5-speed down a twisty backroad with my friend Marky. We were coming up on a nice little left, right, S turn. As I entered the first turn, a guardrail was on my right side, and I looked ahead and noticed a F-350 barrelling around the first turn from the opposite direction. I could already tell the fucker was gonna cut the corner and end up in my lane. It took about a twentieth of a second for me to do the calculations: if I slammed on the brakes there would absolutely be a head-on collision, and there was a guardrail to the right, so I dropped down two gears and sped up so that I could make it past the guardrail and swerve off the right side of the road with about 6 inches to spare between my rear bumper and the guardrail, and another 6 inches away from colliding with that F-350. I only skirted off the road enough to not get struck, then was right back on, driving as if nothing happened. Marky and I looked at each other, shook our heads, and that was it. Didnt even say anything, didnt blink, we didnt react in any sort of manner other than for me to speed up and swerve off and on the road.

In another thread I mentioned changing lanes at 120mph... same little 5-speed Escort, I was real late for work, so I was pushin the car as much as I could, and as much as traffic would let me. Well MD Rt. 4 is a hellaciously annoying fucking road to maneuver on during rush hour, theres only two lanes, and it goes from the bottom of Maryland, straight to the White House. So... yeah. Its a well traveled road.. anyway Im always getting pissed off at the fuckers who stay in the left lane and hold up like 3000 cars behind them. In fact, we wont even get into the magnitude of hatred I have for those people. Anyway there was an asshole going 55 (which was the official speed limit, but pretty much any speed limit in Maryland, add 8-10 and thats the real observed speed limit. Ive passed cops going 65 in a 55), with like 10 cars behind him, but he was coming up to the car in the right lane going about the same speed. I wasnt waiting... I drafted the car ahead of me for a second, dropped it into 3rd, and popped into the right lane, getting up to 115-120 in a couple seconds. I was coming up to the car ahead of me pretty quickly, and the car in the left lane was closing the gap. I went all the way to the right side of the right lane, and jerked the wheel left then right as precisely as I could, skidding right between the two cars, with much less than a foot to spare on either side. My car skidded in the left lane at about a 15 degree angle for about 2 seconds, then the wheels caught and I was gone.

Too many instances... and what bothers me, is I dont even get that little rush anymore. The one you get when you know you almost died, but you survived... that surge of adrenaline that makes it worth it. Im so jaded, I am robbed of that one minor pleasure.