Grandma:

What's up? I miss ya, it's been about 12 years now... We all miss you. Pop is dating some bitchy gold-digging hag. She severed the ties with the family, and she keeps him in the house, the curtains always drawn to keep the light out, and the doors constantly locked. She's really paranoid about someone breaking in, even though she lives in a very great neighborhood. We all think Pop would still be more with it if you were around; he's just lost so much cognitively from her constant anxiety and clingy issues.

We moved 7 years ago to the country, same county though. The family that lives in your old house are friends with us, so your spirit just keeps on giving. I miss you, you were a great person to be around. By the way, we lost your sweet pickle and iced tea recipies, I think Pops lost them? Can you email them to me? I left a comment on your Myspace, you should check it out.

I. LOVE. YOU.