• Who the cat belongs to. I say it's him. The cat only hangs out with me when he wants food, water, catnip, or has an ouchie. When he wants love and cuddles, he goes to Papi.
  • What kind of food the cat should eat. I buy Science Diet. He buys Meow Mix, which is basically like feeding your cat Doritos and Mountain Dew. Within a week the cat starts looking raggedy and shedding everywhere. I say i-told-you-so, and the festivities commence.
  • He never, and I mean never cleans the bedroom or changes the bedsheets. This job always falls to me. We both sleep and fuck there. Why am I always the one to tidy it up?
  • His procrastination.
  • My morning grouchiness.
  • Who is allowed in our home. I am friends with a couple of my exes, and this is a touchy subject. He is friends with some people I just can't stand. So we've just decided to honor each others wishes and keep anyone out that we can't mutually agree upon.