Question for women: Vaginal dyness and sex in general

[someuser]

I'm 29yrs (male) and would consider myself to be pretty sexually experienced. I will admit on a very few occasions over the YEARS dryness came up but rare and far inbetween.

So I've been dating this girl (she is 26) and several times now this has been an issue... Twice or three times being severe enough to either stop or be forced to use lube (astro gel seems to be a decent subsitute but I guess my ego doesnt like it regardless)... Other occasions I could just feel her getting 'dry' even though it isnt enough to cause us to stop or use gel.

I never had experience with this before and I'm concerned it might be me... She tells me she has 3+ orgasms (sometimes more) on average and just a few nights ago she had one so intense she screamed out and said she almost cried... She said it was her best one ever... BUT, I guess I'm still getting a little insecure here because for a young otherwise healthy girl to get dry on me is really messing with my ego.

I KNOW dryness can be an issue from time to time with women so before (if anyone) responds with some generic canned responce that it just sometimes happens, keep in mind this wasnt an issue with us in the beginning, wasnt an issue to my understanding in her past w/ others, and she is otherwise healthy (no yeast infection or any kind of other female condition).

She was on the Nuva ring and at first we blammed it on that... But I had my doubts because many times she still got so wet with me it was actually too much and it actually decreased sensations... But I gave her and the side-effect list the benefit of the doubt.

Now she is on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo and this shit just happened again last night... I was so goddamn pissed I just went out and smoked a fat bowl till 5am in the morning.

To makes matters worse it was Half-Way (Irish thing) and she was pretty drunk... Which, for HER, makes her really horny... I wasnt even in the mood actually and then I was like, "What the hell" and she was all wet at first then 15mins later she was dry.



So I'm at the point where, while I love her, I just about had enough. I dont care if I'm being selfish, I'm sick of feeling my ego being kicked in the gut. Also, while I've been told I'm very good at oral (on her) I cant seem to get anything going on down there for the life of me... I mean I NEVER been with a girl who I cant get them to cum with oral... She actually drys up!!!!

I dont know... Right now I just feel like saying 'fuck it' and going back to what I consider to be a 'normal' woman who can stay fucking wet for more then 15 mins.

someuser Reviewed by someuser on 09-30-2007. Question for women: Vaginal dyness and sex in general I'm 29yrs (male) and would consider myself to be pretty sexually experienced. I will admit on a very few occasions over the YEARS dryness came up but rare and far inbetween. So I've been dating this girl (she is 26) and several times now this has been an issue... Twice or three times being severe enough to either stop or be forced to use lube (astro gel seems to be a decent subsitute but I guess my ego doesnt like it regardless)... Other occasions I could just feel her getting 'dry' even Rating: 5

[birdgirl73]

You're pissed about something she has absolutely no control over? Please. That doesn't make a lick of sense.

The Pill can cause dryness. That's a classic side-effect of any hormonal birth control. Fluctuating hormone levels during the month can. Nuva-Ring can. Dehydration can, like when a person has had too much alcohol and not enough water. Even having sex with a running ceiling fan up above can aggravate dryness. It's certainly not just caused by too little arousal, but if your ego is so delicate as to feel you're "being kicked in the gut" because you believe otherwise, then the real solution here is to stop having sex immediately and get some therapy for yourself.

[Hilder420]

Dude thats so wrong... you are actually considering leaving the woman u supossedly love because she has a sexual health issue? Shame on you... she can probably just try to get on another of the many options of birth control pills available... every body is different and has different needs and apparently the one shes on now is causing her hormones to react in a cetain way that causes vaginal dryness.. i a medical issue that can be easily corrected... at this point you should just be grateful that an actual live woman lets u touch her.. instead of spending quality time with rosie.. think of this way... an instance which will happen to u eventually... the womann u love and who claims to love you leaves you because you couldnt get it up a few times... SHAME!!!

[VoidLivesOn]

haha thats funny birdgirl mentioned the ceiling fan.

man i just read your post and this scenerio sounds EXACTLY LIKE mine with my girl when she was here. she always told me it felt good, however it would still get dry and my ego felt a little hurt because i thought she was just telling me that so my feelings wern't hurt. then one day we were so horny we just went at it for like and hour and the celing fan was off cause i never turned the light switch on and it was wet like a water park the whole damn time. was that a bad analogy? excuse me.

[someuser]

Badgirl,

Yes I'm pissed over something she doesnt have control over! Just like she has got pissed over me drinking/smoking (close to sex) cause it gives me limp dick... Yes, I understand drinking/smoking is something I do have control over but the frustration is the exact same. She doesnt like and gets upset when my 'equipment' isnt working and I'm pissed when hers isnt. But I guess I'm the 'man' right Badgirl and I should just be understanding?

Saturday night she made it VERY clear she wanted sex that evening after we got home and even though I was DRUNK and HIGH and really just wanted to get to bed I focused, got myself in the mood, even built the excitement up, got all into it, she was all wet, then 15 mins into it she gets dry.

Yeah, I'm a guy so I wear my anger on my sleeve but there is no doubt in my mind if I was the one to let her down she would have been pissed as hell too.

But the point is, it isnt all about this one event... This has happened too many times now... It's at the point where I have a harder time getting excited because, as a guy, being unsure all the time really plays on my mind. If it was once in a blue moon like my past experiences that's one thing... I thought when she switched to this new BC this was going to be behind us... But the same BS is still going on.



I'm going over her house now... I dont expect I'll sleep with her even if she wants it (not to be trite but i'm just too pissed and anger sex never did it for me)... But if anyone has any suggestions... She is on the Ortho Try-Cyclen lo... I'll give her a month with this so she can adjust (just started it a few days ago)... But if this doesnt work if any girls have any other BC methods (I know everyone's body is different) please share... She doesnt want any non-hormonal options (we talked IUDs)... Condoms are out BTW.. We both dont like them... I am willing to get 'cut' but only if I marry her... Cant take the chance of us not working out and being sterile.

We have lube but I dont like having to use it (ego not because how it feels... In fact if nothing else, if some guy/girl reads this ASTRO LUBE is great stuff. To me it is very close to the real thing and is light weight so it doesnt take away from the sensations).

Also, any suggestions on oral with her? I tried the normal light licking, touching, ect... It's weird... I never meet a girl who cums so hard with intercourse but not when I stimulate her clit... Even when she does it while I'm doing my thing she rarely cums... But when she masturbates she tells me she does cum with her clit... But with me she is different... I dont know, I man enough to admit I dont know what the heck is going on here. I never had these issues before.


(sorry for the long post)

[birdgirl73]

Here's an idea. What about actually relating to each other and attempting sex when you're both sober and out from under any chemical influence, then seeing how that works? I'm not saying you alone need to be the only one to understand. If you have strong enough feelings to be intimate with someone, you both ought to be sympathetic about each other's sexual "circumstances." That ought not to be a hard conclusion to draw.

If you like and trust someone enough to be getting horizontal, then you ought to have enough affection and respect for each other to understand that sex has its less than stellar times, too--and to know that you can up the chances of a better time by bringing your A game to the sack. Frankly, it sounds like the communication between you two is lousy to begin with. I'm not normally this pessimistic, but the more I read, the more I think this thing is doomed. Asking for tips here isn't going to get you anyplace, either. The one you ought to be listening to is your partner.

[Blitzed]

Maybe your just boring her in bed, try something different, role play, new positions, a little submission/dominance, it could be possible that it is you that is the problem.

[KingsBlend420]

You're pissed about something she has absolutely no control over? Please. That doesn't make a lick of sense.

The Pill can cause dryness. That's a classic side-effect of any hormonal birth control. Fluctuating hormone levels during the month can. Nuva-Ring can. Dehydration can, like when a person has had too much alcohol and not enough water. Even having sex with a running ceiling fan up above can aggravate dryness. It's certainly not just caused by too little arousal, but if your ego is so delicate as to feel you're "being kicked in the gut" because you believe otherwise, then the real solution here is to stop having sex immediately and get some therapy for yourself.

Yea, my ex gf used to get kinda dry when we were having sex while she was on birth control. We broke up and still fooled around for a while afterwards and she stopped taking birth control and was wet as hell after she went off of it.

[stars stars stars]

I wonder what your girlfriend would think if she saw this thread.

[rebgirl420]

^I was thinking that.

Just b/c a girl isnt neccasirly wet doesnt mean she's not turned on. There can be many causes of dryness during sex. It shouldn't be a blow to your ego. But what SHOULD be a blow to your ego is how your talking about this "women that you love". How old are you? Your acting like a child.

Maybe the problem is you.