Boris99, This is so embarrassing I can't believe I'm even typing this. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, (OIF Vet/ Witnessed Horrible Things) I'm only 23! I can't imagine living a whole life like this. I often contemplate giving up on living. It's been taking a toll on me. I can't sleep with my girl friend or dog anymore due to SEVERE nightmares.(I bite, punch, choke, kick) I wake up and I live my nightmare all day long. I take the medicine they give me but I really don't think it's working. I'm still Active Duty Military so I can't try marijuana. I can't be in large crowds or even traffic jams. I constantly sweat, and my heart rarely slows down during the day. Just typing this, I'm beginning to feel it come over me.
PTSD pretty much killed my military career. My unit looks at me like I'm a liability. I think they want to get rid of me so if I kill myself it won't be on there hands. (I'm not contemplating suicide) I was doing pretty good too. Made E-5 pretty quick; always squared away. I've been drinking a lot lately. A lot. I can't wait until my enlistment is over so I can really get some help for this shit. I love life and I wish I could have mine back. I feel like the Military gave up on me. And I'm pissed because I was willing to give my life for this shit! Sometimes I wonder why I even made it back. I want to smoke pot but A Dishonorable Discharge would just fuck up my plans for college. I love this Country. I love our Military. But I feel like they let me down.

Sarge