i hate this, i have lost all security ive ever had. i honestly no longer beleive in wat is known as this "god." i now feel like im being watched and its hard to explain but i think im gonna go talk to a phyciatrist b/c im freaked out. i used to be christian/muslim, but now i dont pray to alla or jesus anymore. i dont really pray at all. i just talk to the one above. ive also been listenin to "stairway to heaven" and whenever the guitar solo starts i start cryin and its uncontrollable, i dunno wat to do, i have to no wats after death, wat happens all the people that i love and that die? do they see me, are they still in there bodies but in a differnet state? fuck, im so annoyed at everything im gonna go lite up some bowls and try to figure this out and im gonna write it all down this time. but i also relized when im high i hack into my subconsious mind, like last time i was high i closed my eyes and started seeing me as a lil 3 or 4 year old and stuff happen, and when i asked my mom if that ever happen she was like "wow, u were so young, how can anyone remember that" i no everything now and im fuckin scared as hell im trippin balls