perhaps you need to stop listening to other's teachings and listen to your heart....

i was in your same position.... exact same... i used to be 'christian'.... but it doesn't work for me... i eventually came to my own beliefs.. and that is of karma...

simply put, do to others as youd' have them do to you, do good out of the kindness of your heart and not 'scoring points' and it will come back to you, but do bad, and it will also come back to you, three fold....

this beleif has never failed me, nor has it proved it's self wrong.... i live my life as if i'm looking in.... i don't live my lifeon what i like or feel, i live my life on what others would want me to do.. and while that may sound bad, you're probably putting it in the wrong context....

i don't follow the crowd so to speak.. i simply treat others with respect, and never do to somebody else that i woudln't want them to do/or respect them later for doing (lets face it, sometimes in your life, when youc are about someone, you have got to do something they're not going to be happy about) later on....



but honestly, this is my life, and your life is YOUR life.... you seeem to need help for yourself and all i can think of at the momment to tell you is a quote from george carlin... "what's with this shit about self help, there's no such thing as self help, if you did it yourself, youd didn't need help, there's no such thing as self help, if you went to someone else, THAT'S HELP (may not be exactly on point but just think about it in context of what i'm saying, and not the question...)


and there is no help for you.... to listen to follow someone else's beliefs is stupid IMO, you need to follow your heart and conscience... not someone elses.... people may give advice or input on what they believe, but ultimately, you need to follow what is right for you and makes sense to you.