Quote Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
i dunno if you could understand or not, but i's like a downer in it's self.... it reminds me i can and do lose control, which makes it harder to maintain that control....
I can understand it and why it would bother you. But I also know you well enough to know you have a tendency sometimes to look at the world through fecal-colored glasses. So instead of being able to dismiss it as old history or a learning experience, you choose to let it define you or affect your equanimity now. It doesn't have to do that. That's a conscious choice you're making in your own perception, if you can understand that. The worst thing about this whole situation is that if it were anyone else other than yourself, you wouldn't hold that against them. At least I don't think you would in most cases.