I need some help with my dad

[geonagual]

there are some of you that may know that my dad is living with me..my mom died at the beginning of the year..he lived with my sister for about 6 months and now he is living with me..

I am not really sure what the diagnosis would be on him and he absolutely refuses to go to the doctor..He is 69..it seems whatever he has is getting a lot worse in the month that he has lived with me..now everyday he is seeing people inside the house and out..very paranoid about the police..he even tells me about the some of the crazy dreams he has been having..I at the most leave the house for no more that 6 hours at a time for work..thankfully I am self employed.
my mom always said it was altzeimers coming on...but lately people have been saying dementia..what do you think?
I need to get him to a doctor, any suggestions on how I could get him to go. I honestly think he has lost the will to live and just wants to die and be in heaven with my mom..his words, not mine.

geonagual Reviewed by geonagual on 09-20-2007. I need some help with my dad there are some of you that may know that my dad is living with me..my mom died at the beginning of the year..he lived with my sister for about 6 months and now he is living with me.. I am not really sure what the diagnosis would be on him and he absolutely refuses to go to the doctor..He is 69..it seems whatever he has is getting a lot worse in the month that he has lived with me..now everyday he is seeing people inside the house and out..very paranoid about the police..he even tells me Rating: 5

[jdmarcus59]

I can understand your promblem, I think its a great thing that you have done by
having you dad come live with you, I know that it can be hard to watch are love ones melt away in front of are eyes, iam having the same thing with my mother.
getting him to see a doctor may be the key here. being on the right meds can some times really help. But how do you get him there, talk. do a lot of talking at the right moment.
try to turn the tables on him and get him to think it is his idea, that is what I had to do with my mother, so that I could say things like" but mom remember you said you wanted to talk to the doctor about such and such". I dont know your father so its kinda hard to make usefull sugestens, but just hang in there you are doing fine, talk to famly and freinds and mabey even a Doctor. good luck I will think of you.

[beachguy in thongs]

Wow, sounds horrible for him.

[happiestmferoutthere]

First, let me say I commend you for being there for your dad. I have worked with Alzheimers/Dementia patients for over 20 years. It can be very challenging. What works one day may not work the next day.
First, just to clarify, Dementia is really an umbrella term for any kind of progressive brain dysfunction, especially in the elderly. Alzheimers is a form of dementia.
Changes in his environment could absolutely be exasperating his symptoms. Its very common for changes to send someone in a spiral. Grief can also make it worse. Maybe visit dementia.com, or alz.org. They have great information and suggestions.
As for getting him to the doctor, thats a hard one. You know the family dynamics more than anyone. Its hard to say what would work. For close family members, guilt works good .(because they still love you). Maybe make him feel like he would be doing you a favor if he went. Key words are good too. Again, you would probably know what words get the best response. Maybe get a doctor first then ask him for suggestions on how to get your dad in there. Some doctors can be pretty sneaky.
And, you know, sometimes people really do lose the will to live after their spouse dies. My mother did. She died 3 months after my dad. Our family believes they had to be together.
I wish I had more help for you, it can be a very slippery slope.You don't want to make his problems worse. You're a good son. Good luck,and remember your friends at cann.com are here!!

[beachguy in thongs]

I was diagnosed with dementia, secondary to head trauma.

Go figure.

[1puff2puff3puff]

It sounds pretty urgent, and if you are really worried about him, you have to get him to the hospital. I suggest you tell him, you, need him, to come with you to the emergency room. When you get him there talk to the doctor and let him know whats going on and ask for immediate treatment. It may sound kind of harsh, but you could be doing him more harm than good. My father passed away just this June, and i know how hard it can be, especially for the other parent. My parent were together 36 years and my mother is having hard time dealing. It's pretty rough...

Good luck and i wish you the best ... You will be in my Prayers..

[MaryLane]

I'd ask a doctor what the best thing to do would be. Some doctors are pretty cool and for really stubborn patients will sometimes make a quick housecall to give them a onceover.

[geonagual]

Good news...I have talked in depth with him and although he says he dosent feel bad, he does agree that he needs a physical..phewww...I am scheduling it on Monday.

[birdgirl73]

That's good news, Geo! I know you're relieved! Let us know how it goes, OK? I think my mom may have just the tip-end beginnings of some sort of dementia/age-related hardening of the arteries. Just little early signs right now. It's scary to see that happening to people we've loved and known as such with-it, connected beings.

Do you have any brothers or sisters, Geo, to help out?

[PlantBoxer]

I've been reading for a couple of years now about how omega3 supplements are really helping many depressed folks, and are helping some Altzheimers folks as well. Life Extensions magazine, has a ton of articals, and yes they have suppliments also, but every artical has each and every refference listed so you can go back check their stuff out for yourself.

We consume so many Omega6 oils, that your body has a terrible time with. Omega3's are virtuly nonexistent unless your eating a lot of wild caught Salmon, Herring,Anchovies, and few others.

Almost all childrens behavorial disorders are from lack of Omega3's, and the over abundence of Omega6's. Simple changes make great leaps. A very cheap way to improve your dailey out look.

Tart Cherry Juice for mild Arthric pains, takes about 3 months to start working. Maybe not all cases, but again, a damn, simple way to try.