darlin, nothing is perfect. do what is best for yourself, and you already know what that is.

no you don't hold out for him, that isn't fair to either person. secondly, it doesn't sound like he thinks of his future, as being with you...

now, will you be lonely in maui... only if you are being a pouty puss. i can see it happen if you continue in this frame of mind. date people, you sound like you need to, because of how much you idolize this one man... i would move on with your life, i mean everything you say, sounds like you are completely setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak... and this happens when sex is involved, especially.

i know what it is to think you will never fall for anyone else, or be sexually attracted... luckily our bodies don't care much about our minds