Hilder, the fact that you don't want to treat your own kids the way your mom treated you proves in itself that you won't. When I was growing up, I don't recall my dad ever hugging me or telling me that he loved me. When I had my son, I swore that I would make sure he knew how much I loved him. I hug him every day, and tell him I love him -- every day.

It is possible for people to change. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia about 5 years ago, and since then he is a completely different person. He now makes it a point to tell me that he loves me, every time we talk, and he hugs me now. Of course, it'd odd for him to hug me now, I mean it just feels weird because he never did when I was a kid. And, it may be me, but it just seems a little forced, like he's doing it because he thinks he needs to, not because he wants to. And part of me wants to say "where was this man when I was growing up and *needed* it??" But... I'm thankful for the time we have now, because I don't know how much longer that will be, and I know he's making an effort to correct the mistakes he made in the past.

Anyway, don't be afraid to have kids just because of the way your mom treated you. I'm proof that you can change that cycle!