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  1.     
    #11
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    this thread makes me sad.... my mother has never told me that she loves me, she sure has taken time to tell me that she hates me and wishes i were never born because of who my father is.. i havent seen my dad since i was 5, and the only father figure i had, who i thought cared about me was, no, is a pedophile. i used to let it get to me, but i am not gonna let her coldness affect me... the way i see it, shes missing out, because when it comes to my family, friends and pets i am a very warm loving generous person.. she will never get to experience my affection. I do think that kids need to hear and learn how to be affectionate towards other people, but the fact that they grew up without, hopefully, will not have too bad of a negative effect.

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  3.     
    #12
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hilder420
    this thread makes me sad.... my mother has never told me that she loves me, she sure has taken time to tell me that she hates me and wishes i were never born because of who my father is.. i havent seen my dad since i was 5, and the only father figure i had, who i thought cared about me was, no, is a pedophile. i used to let it get to me, but i am not gonna let her coldness affect me... the way i see it, shes missing out, because when it comes to my family, friends and pets i am a very warm loving generous person.. she will never get to experience my affection. I do think that kids need to hear and learn how to be affectionate towards other people, but the fact that they grew up without, hopefully, will not have too bad of a negative effect.
    ditto..my mother was a nightmare to me growing up,she is still alive at 79,,and we tolerate one another just about..its an ongoing problem trying to get over her treatment of me growing up,,but i,m dealing with it,and most importantly i treat my kids with the utmost respect,and enjoy grabbing that bit of time every day to tell them just how important they are to me,and how much i love them.. :hippy:

  4.     
    #13
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Every chance i get!!

  5.     
    #14
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Quote Originally Posted by da dubs
    ditto..my mother was a nightmare to me growing up,she is still alive at 79,,and we tolerate one another just about..its an ongoing problem trying to get over her treatment of me growing up,,but i,m dealing with it,and most importantly i treat my kids with the utmost respect,and enjoy grabbing that bit of time every day to tell them just how important they are to me,and how much i love them.. :hippy:
    thats great to read, you managed to break the horrible cycle that your mother inflicted on you. One of the reasons I dont want kids is because I'm afraid I will turn into my mother. All the shit she's done, or failed to do, the shit shes said or the same, failed to say. I don't want to feel responsibe for fucking up anyone elses life, or make anyone feel uneccesary hate. I can honestly say that I don't hate my mother anymore. I have a severe dislike for her and if all goes as planned with my sis and I movin out, I hope to not have to speak to her for a long long time and I would be perfectly happy not talking to her ever again. I've thought about changin my cell number so she won't be able to contact me, but decided agains it because I know one day, hopefully in the distant future she will need us and I will talk to her and depending on what she needs I will still be there for her, because above all she is the person who gave me life, but she should not expect affection from me. Shes an extreme megalomaniac, money grabbing, evil, compulsive liar and a thief who will say and do damn near anything to get what she wants and get money in her hands, and I've told her, when you get older, and can't work, your feet get amputated, and you can no longer take care of yourself, I will find someone to do it for you, donot expect me or my sister to hang around because you are a very destructive person with bad juju hanging all over you and the people around you. I will probably go broke trying to get her as far away from me as possibe, and she will never SEE a dime from me. I know these are horrible things to say especially about ones own mother, but its all true. She fucked us both over royally and she can't expect more than what shes given us. As the saying goes: you reap what you sow. I decided not to hate her, or anybody for that matter, not even my former step father who raped me for 7 years because it takes alot of energy and time to hate someone and honestly, thats more than they deserve from me. I'm trying to be a normal healthy happy person, and I succeed most of the time, and all I can do is keep trying. As long as I've got my sister, my best friend, my babies and my weed I will be allright.:smokin: Goddess willing of course.

  6.     
    #15
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Hilder, I want to give you a big fat hug...just remember if you do ever have kids by chance someday to break that cycle...thankfully, we have MJ and it helps us do that...Love, D

  7.     
    #16
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    thank you darlin.. youre gonna make me cry...damn too late lol. the thing is that i see so much of my mother in me that it makes me panic sometimes. not the greediness or the evilness, the megalomania or the lying- ness(?) lol, but just that im ony 23, just staring my adult life and im already so jaded and cynical about everything including love and honesty. i just cant help but belive that she wasnt always the way she is now and that she was made to be that way because of the shitty life shes had as well.. then on the other hand she didnt have it as bad as i have, which makes me think that she likes being the way she is or doesnt realize she is the way she is. I laready know that i will never let myself fall in love again, and i feel bad because i know that i have alot of love to give but i cant get over the walls ive built around my heart to let some one love me, or let myself love someone else. i need a big fat hug too.. ever since i stopped seeing the dick to try a relationship with some one else,which failed miserably, and went somewhere it had no reason to go, i havent had a hug for about 2 months, and theres three things that make my days better, is a big bear hug from a man, a big fatty, and lovin from my dogs. well geo, i can at least imagine you givin me a big hug, and hurry up and get ur ass back here so we can keep havin fun conversations..- love hilder

  8.     
    #17
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Damn i can type when im stoned! not bad for a mexican stoner if i say so myself... Anyway one thing i forgot to say.. please dont feel sorry for me Geo, if anything feel happy for me because considering, im actually doing ok.. and working towards better hopefully. I will not let the past bullshit get me down too often, and dammit, i will make it and above what anyone who did me wrong ever expected! - Kisses- Hilder

  9.     
    #18
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    I dont feel sorry...I just wanted to give you a hug cause your cool...I had a pretty fucked upbringing to and I always like people who strive to beat that cycle and become better and you are obviously doing it...Peace girl

  10.     
    #19
    Senior Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    all you can do is try right? thanks Geo, youre pretty cool yourself.. and hot and nice and a stoner to boot...late- hilder

  11.     
    #20
    Member

    How often do you tell your kids . . . ?

    Hilder, the fact that you don't want to treat your own kids the way your mom treated you proves in itself that you won't. When I was growing up, I don't recall my dad ever hugging me or telling me that he loved me. When I had my son, I swore that I would make sure he knew how much I loved him. I hug him every day, and tell him I love him -- every day.

    It is possible for people to change. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia about 5 years ago, and since then he is a completely different person. He now makes it a point to tell me that he loves me, every time we talk, and he hugs me now. Of course, it'd odd for him to hug me now, I mean it just feels weird because he never did when I was a kid. And, it may be me, but it just seems a little forced, like he's doing it because he thinks he needs to, not because he wants to. And part of me wants to say "where was this man when I was growing up and *needed* it??" But... I'm thankful for the time we have now, because I don't know how much longer that will be, and I know he's making an effort to correct the mistakes he made in the past.

    Anyway, don't be afraid to have kids just because of the way your mom treated you. I'm proof that you can change that cycle!
    [SIZE=\"1\"]\"Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a manā??s appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded.\" -- Abraham Lincoln[/SIZE]

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