I know that this is all because of me, I know its all my fault. Thats why I was asking, "Whats wrong with me??" I know that I'm just some sorry piece of shit that really is probably just whining when I should be fighting, but I'm just so sick and tired of trying to make relationships work. You guys gave a lot of good advice, one thing I want to address is that sig is me from...a different time, about 3 years ago when I first signed up for cannabis.com I was this extremely happy, positive person who knew that my outlook was the only thing wrong with me, so I changed it into that sig. That was my outlook on life for about 2 years.

And...to answer some questions, I'm not some shallow dick, ya know? I've been with, what my friends referred to as, ugly chicks before. I've also been with, what my referred to as, EXTREMELY hot chicks. Thinking back on it, yeah, the "hot" ones always fucked me over with cheating. And, now thinking back on it, the chicks that my friends considered ugly never fucked me over. I guess...I always fucked them over. I've never cheated on a single person, EVER, but I did break it off with them after just a few months or or even weeks whatever. But, I'm not shallow. If I find a person attractive, then I find them attractive and I don't really give a shit who knows or what they think of it. I'm not that kind of person to easily give a shit what people think. I just...need some help.

I just don't want to feel like this anymore, like its their fault and not mine, when I know it. I just want to be a normal person that can look at a female and just take her at face value, not have predispositions as to how much of a slut she "really" is.

Sex is nature and I guess what I'm really saying is, I'm so sick and tired of sex, and women, and the entire relationship thing. Now when my friends talk about "banging some chick" I just get so pissed off at them, and I end up having to leave. I think...I guess, I'm just one of those that should live in a monastery.

Let me clarify, I know its me. I know that the only problem in my life is, probably, myself. I know that, I'm just so sick of feeling the way I do. And yeah, I may be young at the tender age of 19 but that doesn't mean I'm ignorant. Just, shitty towards the world.