bah! if doctors spent more time guiding their patients instead of drugging them; that might be a decent option. you did the right thing posting here. and who knows what triggered that sort of response to marijuana. i know what anxiety is like. i know how difficult it can be to rationalize delusional thoughts and emotions, especially in the midst of an anxiety attack/episode. i like to see it as a trial of my soul. of course, when i'm experiencing those feelings, such creativity is abandoned--hope is lost, if you will. it's like you're playing a video-game, except your controller is unplugged and you can't activate your character. it is a nightmare!

the lesson here is one of preparation. personally, i have come to expect an anxious episode every time i puff the herb and it's paid off. i am noticing gradual improvements in the social department, in terms of listening (not selective listening like many who experience anxiety have the tendency of doing), observing, and an overall understanding of the do's and do nots. my problem however is slightly different. because i experience these feelings while i am around familiar company, like my family and friends. and when i meet new, talkative, outgoing people, i feel like a weight has been lifted off me, especially if i can confidently and willingly involve myself. i passed on the chance to truly learn the people i call friends. i mean, i know them but i don't really know them. for example, don't expect me to finish anyone's sentences or recall one's birthday because they'll just be disappointed. we hang out because we partied a lot in the past and somehow in the midst of all that partying, our souls bonded while our minds were still very unprepared. my attempts to accept them as friend goes with great difficulty but with each passing day, those unwelcome emotions and thoughts rush back to me less malevolent than before. i digressed a bit but i hope you understand what i wanted to share with you.
Ganj Reviewed by Ganj on . crazy experience so... i had just gotten outta jail, so its been 21 days since i smoked some herb... i hit that bitch a few good tomes, let the high sink in. once the joint was done smoked, i was sittin in my car w/ my boyfriend just enjoyin my high, when i started gettin really really paranoid. it got carried away and my brain was flippin out. i seriously thought i was goin schizophrenic, or i was bein possessed or somethin. i was hearin myself talk to myself and it was like i couldnt control my own thoughts Rating: 5