It's so hard to like myself.

[birdgirl73]

I'm fucking crazy... I know in my head its the dumbest thing ever why can't I just tell myself to quit thinking that...

You're not crazy. And it's not the dumbest thing ever. It's no wonder it's hard to like yourself when you're putting yourself down in practically every other thought or sentence.

You're actually brave to be so refreshingly honest and vulnerable about what you're feeling. That alone is proof to me that you're eminently likable.

Time for a self-help plan. Maybe even check out some titles in a book store or on the Web having to do with self-esteem. Try some affirmations, too, where you find yourself some esteem-bolstering things you repeat to yourself till they get through to your conscious and unconscious mind and you start believing them.

Can you have a trusted friend start drawing it to your attention every time he/she hears you put yourself down? That'd help you cut that out real quickly if you realized how much you're undercutting your own self-confidence. And if you have friends or family in your life who put you down, take a nice long vacation from them. I'm betting that somewhere in your background, someone did that to you and that you then incorporated that into your own psychological technique. That's how that tends to work. You can also ask your friends to give you positive strokes, but the person you really need to be getting those from is yourself. If you're open to the idea, counseling/psychotherapy is a great tool that not nearly enough people take advantage of for self-esteem issues.

Physically, nothing'll get you feeling better about yourself than exercise. It's an amazing confidence booster and a natural antidepressant. I guarantee that if you exercise three or four times a week for the next two weeks, you will feel better about yourself at the end of that period. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. Lift some weights or some books or canned goods. Do some walking or running. Anything to get your body and muscles moving for at least a half hour.

The person I wish were online to add her wisdom is Granny Storm Crow. She will have something marvelous to add, I know, and will do it with great love and affection.

Let us know how you're doing, Nevaquit. You're a good guy and need some major pats on the back!!! If and when you begin to feel better about yourself, I also guarantee that the girls you'd like to know will begin to take notice.