Crudemood, i think i understand you to an extent... reading your post, it seems like i may have suffered some mild emotional abuse when child also, and it may have damaged some parts of my emotions... so i think i know a bit how you feels like.
I wish i had any words of comfort for you... i only can say im glad that you realized what is your problem, cause, as you said, its the first step to solve it.
BTW, there is nothing wrong with hating your father (or anybody else who did some harm to you). Even cause when you overcome the problems caused by it, your hate will fade away.
Best wishes for you!