Glad, because I finished the first step : identifying the problem. I hate him so much..

What is your relationship like?

* Do you feel that something is wrong with your relationship, but you don't know how to describe it?
* Do you feel that your partner controls your life?
* Do you feel that your partner does not value your thoughts or feelings?
* Will your partner do anything to win an argument, such as put you down, threaten or intimidate you?
* Does your partner get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
* Do you feel that you cannot do anything right in your partner's eyes?
* Do you get mixed messages, such as the reason you are abused is because he loves you?
* Are you told that no one else would want you, or that you are lucky your partner takes care of you?
* Do you have to account for every moment of your time?
* When you try to talk to your partner about problems, are you called names such as bitch or nag?
* Are you prevented from going to work or school, or from learning English?
* Does your partner threaten to withdraw your sponsorship or send you back to your country of origin?
* If you wish to spend money, does your partner make you account for every penny,
* or say you don't deserve anything?
* After an argument, does your partner insist that you have sex as a way to make up?
* Does he use the children against you in arguments? Does your partner threaten that you will never see the children again if you leave?
* Does your partner blame you for everything that goes wrong?
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Frequently ignores your feelings.
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Ridicules or insults your most valued beliefs, gender, sexuality, ability, age or sexual orientation.
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Ridicules or insults your religion, race, heritage, class or language.
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Withholds approval, appreciation, and affection.
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Continually criticizes you, calls you names, shouts at you.
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Humiliates you in private or in public.


How are you affected?

* Are you unable or afraid to make decisions for yourself?
* Do you do anything you can to please your partner or not upset him?
* Do you make excuses for your partner's behaviour?
* Are you forgetful, confused or unable to concentrate?
* Have you noticed changes in your eating, sleeping, alcohol or drug use?
* Have you lost interest or energy to do the things you used to?
* Do you feel sick, anxious, tired or depressed a lot of the time?
* Have you lost contact with your friends, family or neighbours?
* Have you lost self-confidence and feel afraid that you could not make it alone?