Sometimes I feel that, I had a similar experience when I was stoned one day. I was thinking about relegion and wondered, "what the fuck is this?" For one moment life did not exist. That one idea mindfucked me for nearly a year. I have not gotten over it and it still haunts me. But I beleive I understand it and accept it and I try not to ponder it or I am sure I will have to go into therapy or even attempt a suicide. Sorry about the long story but I hope it relates.