Why why why WHY?!

[Nation_1ne]

I'm recently singled too PB..Do I have a chance?

Can anyone say h-a-r-a-s-s-m-e-n-t?

[binger]

PB, just read through the thread, and like most, I agree, you did the right thing. I don't think that your delivery was bad, and you're dealing with the after shocks pretty well - not responding to his cries. That's normal, some people who get too attached have a hard time letting go. From the sounds of his situation as you've described it, he sounds like he's going to continue to be clingy.

I'm not sure how stable he is - it is normal to worry about someone getting too depressed and doing something drastic, such as suicide, but it doesn't usually get to that. However, if it were me - I'd prefer someone telling me exactly what didn't mesh with the relationship. Looking back on my own life (I'm 40 now and happily married), the one thing I would have appreciated knowing over the years was - what didn't work.

Sometimes we trip up and get too clingy; or we're not attentive enough; or are too unmotivated to find our paths in life. Between 18-30, I think a lot of people are just trying to find that comfortable balance. A lot of people, as he sounds like - still being a virgin, aren't familar with how to control their emotions just yet. Then, you through in some hormones, and you think any woman that can make you feel the way you do during sex, must be someone you should 'love'. Then you realize things like living with someone and sharing interests are whole other games.

Unless his mother is out of touch with her own maturing, I can't see how she would be anything but understanding about the whole thing. These things happen. At 20 (presumming you're both about that age) you have so many more people to date, to find out about what you want. From some of your comments, you seem to at least know you want someone ready to look ahead to the next phase of their life - adulthood. She will understandably be protective of her son, but hopefully she's realistic.

He'll get over it. What you leave him with, will determine whether he learns from it, and improves on the next one. If you truly care for him, I would think that you want to help him learn. Ok, so it didn't work with you two, but if you want him to be happy - this is a good way to help that happen.

Now, with you - three people with issues (2 fixer upppers, and this clingy one) - you have to question yourself - do you have a magnet for needy/clingy people? I did for a while. You believe you can fix them, or help them. You can't - people can only fix themselves, based on their mistakes.

[Distortion]

Purple Im behind you 100% on your move to break up with him. He will be find so dont worry about him, and you will be good too at least you broke up with him and didnt chicken out, breaking up takes guts and you have them. Much love.

[Purple Banana]

Yeah, I'm done with fixer-uppers... FOREVER. I need a man, not a boy. I just feel much better about how well I did it, and that I didn't keep putting it off. SUCH a relief for me now, now I can enjoy my week.

[Weedhound]

Good for you Pb.....you say you made an error....we ALLLLLLLL do.....and I agree with what someone said here (beachguy?) that you can rip the bandaid off fast (my method) or do it nice and slow and agonizingly and make everyone MORE unhappy for longer. That's just my thought though.

I'm afraid I disagree with Binger about several things.....something about his mom should understand.....HA...he's pretty perfect in mommy's eyes (despite her comments) and I think you can pretty much write her off in support.......her son's really a great guy, no matter what, remember? He certainly didn't become the person he is all by himself.

The other thing I personally disagree with is telling people "why" the relationship doesn't work. Unless you are moving accross the country or something tangible there's really only one reason you don't want to have a relationship with someone.....you aren't attracted to them. And I don't care how much perfume you put on a pig they know that's exactly what you are saying. Why would that hurt less than "Thanks for the memories but the timing ain't right" ? In my opinion, it doesn't. It hurts more. :wtf:

[Weedhound]

And ps.....I would be AMAZED if she didn't "already know"

[Purple Banana]

Well, he certainly didn't tell her he walked 5 hours from his house to mine and back to deliver flowers...

[Weedhound]

You don't think so.....how about BEFORE...hmmmm?? You asked that very question yourself.

You have done the right thing here....the right thing and the easy thing are not always the same imo... :thumbsup:

[jdmarcus59]

hey PB how about a vicking? Iam a good hunter

[jdmarcus59]

another one bites the dust.