I was a mean, hateful, pissed off person before cannabis; immediately after (for about 2 years) I was a laidback, full-of-love kinda person; 2 years later, now, I am an angry stoner. I hate a lot of things, and a lot of people, and I get very agitated very easily as I have NO patience whatsoever, unfortunately. However, when I'm high...I'm not angry, and I have a bit more patience; it all comes down to me being able to just sit and accept things when I'm high. When I'm sober, I'm much too easily agitated to...what was it? oh yeah! think calmly and logically about situations!

I know I hate life and everything about it because I really hate myself more than anything else and that until I learn to accept myself I will never accept "reality." I know I am a terrible person, but I think I already know where I'm headed so I feel that nothing will change it. I am this way now, I was this way before, I will be this way always. When I die, it will be with silent despair and longing to live, a feeling I believe I will only feel in the fleeting moments that is my death.

Life is some terrible, black thing; I can not change that anymore than I can really change my destiny.